If embedded reporters were at Iwo Jima

This is in the conservative Washington Times today. Zell Miller does a parody of the nonsense we see on our news today.

DAY 1
With the aid of satellite technology, Cutie Cudley interviews Marine Pfc. John Doe, who earlier came ashore with 30,000 other Marines.
Cutie: "John, we have been told by the administration that this island has great strategic importance because if you're successful, it could become a fueling stop for our bombers on the way to Japan. But, as you know, we can't be sure this is the truth. What do you think?"